I don’t collect facial hair clippings…

… and I don’t know many people who do.  If there are people out there who have such a collection, I imagine you’ll probably find them living in their parents’ basement, or perhaps a small cave somewhere.  One thing is certain, I don’t think you’ll find any of them living in the Duke dorms.  My question is then, why do people find it necessary to leave facial hair clippings strewn all over the sink counter?  Though your intentions may be good (I often leave those small Troll dolls in random places for avid collectors), they’re being directed in the wrong place.

It’s called dorm etiquette, and some people just don’t follow it.  So I’ve taken it upon myself to write some of dorm rules down for the people who claim illiteracy when it comes to unwritten laws.   Before I start, I have to say, I am no saint; I break the rules myself.  Also, the people on my hall this year have been really good actually; this is mainly a reflection of my freshmen and sophomore years.  But here goes:

Hair in and around the sink:  As the first paragraph alluded to, why do people leave facial hair clippings all over the sink?  Is it really that difficult to turn on the water and rinse them away?  I know, I know, you retort that you don’t just have to turn the water on, but you also have to turn it off too!  That is a lot of work, but think of it as good exercise.

Laundry rooms: I hate when people take my laundry out of the dryers.  But I also hate when people leave their laundry in them when I need to use one.  On occasion, I’ve come down a few minutes after my laundry is done to find someone took it out and threw it all over the place. That’s frustrating.  I propose a 5-minute rule.  If no dryers are available, at least wait 5 minutes to see if someone comes for it, and then take it out.  But seriously, to the people who leave theirs in over night, if this were Hogwarts, I’d totally cast a spell that makes your skin as wrinkly as your clothes.   Also, if this were Hogwarts, there wouldn’t be washing machines (Dobby would do it), but that’s besides the point.

Common Rooms:  This is a grey area.  I’m tempted to say TV watching should trump studiers (you can study anywhere, but there’s only so many TVs on campus).   But I think the safe rule is whoever was there first gets to decide.  That said, Duke basketball games take precedent over anything else.   Though I think the Duke Facial Hair Clippings Club meetings may even trump Duke basketball.

“Messes” in the bathroom: Clean up your messes.  If you throw up in the bathroom, clean it up.  No excuses.  If you’re too drunk to do it that night, clean it up in the morning.  If you were so drunk you don’t remember you threw up, if you see throw up in the bathroom, it’s probably yours, so clean it up.  The same thing goes for those individuals who apparently had to relieve themselves so badly they didn’t have time to lift the toilet seat.   Look, cleaning it up isn’t fun, but cleaning up your own mess is better than having to clean up another person’s.  What’s more, I think it’s horrendous how badly many people treat the cleaning staff here.  Have you ever cleaned a bathroom?  It flat out sucks.  So imagine cleaning up after college kids everyday.  Yes, they are paid.  But I don’t care how much their pay is, nobody should have to clean up the remnants of a Dillo burrito and Natty Light every single weekend.

There are definitely more (breaking something that everyone has to pay for, hosting your bi-weekly ice curling matches in the halls, etc.), but these are a start.  I don’t want to seem like a snooty old grandma, but is it too much to ask 19 to 21 year olds not to urinate all over the place?

(Again, to the people on my hall this semester, you’ve been great actually, not kidding, so please don’t hate me.)

Tagged as: dorm life, residence